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It's not my turn to start the joke thread again...

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Re: It's not my turn to start the joke thread again...

Postby dls » Fri Jun 09, 2017 2:35 pm

For the many not the few
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Re: It's not my turn to start the joke thread again...

Postby Hairyloon » Fri Jun 09, 2017 6:51 pm

Enough is enough.
Take me to your lizard...
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Re: It's not my turn to start the joke thread again...

Postby shootist » Sun Jun 18, 2017 12:05 pm

A couple were sitting in the garden when they spotted an enormous slug working it's way across the patio. The wife says "I'll go and get some salt." The husband replies "Is there anything you won't bloody eat?"
"I do not agree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death my right to be offended by it."
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Re: It's not my turn to start the joke thread again...

Postby Smouldering Stoat » Tue Aug 01, 2017 5:19 pm

Thieves have stolen a consignment of Viagra.

At first Police thought it might be amateurs, but now suspect hardened criminals.
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Re: It's not my turn to start the joke thread again...

Postby shootist » Tue Aug 01, 2017 5:24 pm

Thieves have struck at the local office supplies depot. They stole 10 filing cabinets, 50 arch lever files, 10 boxes of pens, 5 labelling machines, several thousand envelopes, and 200 diaries. Police suspect it's the work of organised crime.
"I do not agree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death my right to be offended by it."
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Re: It's not my turn to start the joke thread again...

Postby 3.14 » Thu Aug 24, 2017 12:52 pm

So Barack Obama and Donald Trump somehow ended up at the same barber shop...

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty. As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave.

But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."

The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama ?"

Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
Hide in the noise. #hackerwisdom
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Re: It's not my turn to start the joke thread again...

Postby Smouldering Stoat » Tue Aug 29, 2017 6:48 pm

Just heard there's a secretive group of men who control the world's cheese.

They're called the Hallouminati.
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Re: It's not my turn to start the joke thread again...

Postby atticus » Tue Sep 05, 2017 7:40 pm

woman trapped in window trying to retrieve poo

I couldn't think where else to post this. Landlord & tenant, perhaps.
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Re: It's not my turn to start the joke thread again...

Postby Smouldering Stoat » Tue Sep 05, 2017 8:32 pm

It brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "crap date."
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