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Nasty Seperation

Family Law, Children, Adoption

Nasty Seperation

Postby BaryChuckle » Thu Aug 11, 2016 8:48 am

I've recently left my wife and family home after meeting somebody new and currently living at her house, despite not living there I have still paid all the bills, rent and given money for food but now I'm being informed she is seeking financial compensation on the grounds of abandonment but how?

Yes I've left or kicked out would be the correct term but as stated I've paid for everything what more can she want from me
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Re: Nasty Seperation

Postby atticus » Thu Aug 11, 2016 9:36 am

What more can she want, Bary? Support. Maintenance. Transfer of Property.

You should get legal advice.
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Re: Nasty Seperation

Postby BaryChuckle » Thu Aug 11, 2016 10:14 am

I've given her the maintenance she asked for, its a rented property in both names which I have still been paying for, I've taken nothing from the house other than personal possessions and offered all the support I could be its always thrown back in my face
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Re: Nasty Seperation

Postby atticus » Thu Aug 11, 2016 10:16 am

You should take legal advice. One way or another this will probably end up in court.
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Re: Nasty Seperation

Postby shootist » Thu Aug 11, 2016 10:23 am

OK, this is a personal and not a legal opinion. Whatever you do, you are about to enter a world of shit for many years to come. Whatever choices you make can only be between two variations upon misery. What else can she want? Answer: everything you have. In your position you need all the legal advice you can get. I would stop paying anything until you can negotiate through some well meaning organisation as to a temporary setup. Then hit the divorce trail ASAP, negotiating a financial settlement that is acceptable to you both even if it will leave you penniless. If you can find a men's support group locally go to it. I've tried to show the bright side of such situations, but there isn't one.

Any kids? If no then there is hope. If there is, you're stuffed. How long were you married?
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Re: Nasty Seperation

Postby atticus » Thu Aug 11, 2016 10:30 am

Stopping payment of rent is not a good idea. But get negotiating ASAP. Is your wife earning?
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Re: Nasty Seperation

Postby BaryChuckle » Thu Aug 11, 2016 10:59 am

Been married 7 years with 2 children and I left the house 3 weeks ago. I'm in full time employment but she's on benefits and I've informed them all myself I no longer reside at the property
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Re: Nasty Seperation

Postby shootist » Thu Aug 11, 2016 11:19 am

atticus wrote:Stopping payment of rent is not a good idea. But get negotiating ASAP. Is your wife earning?


On reflection, yes, keep paying the rent for now. I might consider giving the landlord notice that you are leaving. It may be difficult to disentangle yourself from the rental contract without agreement from the wife.

It is worth remembering that she will be entitled to claim significant benefits as a single mother living in rented accommodation with two children and that these benefits may be affected by any payments in maintenance she receives from you. I no longer keep up with the details on such as my problems are mostly long behind me, but check it out. It is a good negotiating ploy to be able to point this out. Unverified example, you pay the rent, she gets no housing benefit. You don't pay the rent, she gets housing benefit which leaves you with more disposable income to help with the kids expenses.

One last tip, perhaps the most important of all. When the knife twists, keep smiling. Turn this into a hate fest on both sides and nobody will benefit. Keep it sweet no matter how difficult it gets. You will also need to explain this to the new girlfriend because you being nice to the ex as a strategic investment can leave scars on the new girlfriend.
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Re: Nasty Seperation

Postby dls » Thu Aug 11, 2016 11:34 am

Sorry, but nobody here can possibly know enough about the circumstances to suggest anything that you should do beyond that you should seek legal advice.

You _may_ be making payments for which you will not later receive credit in Child Support maintenance.
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Re: Nasty Seperation

Postby Boo » Thu Aug 11, 2016 11:52 am

shootist wrote:
atticus wrote:Stopping payment of rent is not a good idea. But get negotiating ASAP. Is your wife earning?


On reflection, yes, keep paying the rent for now. I might consider giving the landlord notice that you are leaving. It may be difficult to disentangle yourself from the rental contract without agreement from the wife.


That's not quite right. He can get his name removed from the tenancy. He just needs to write to the landlord and explain he no longer lives there. He may be liable for bills etc but that's something he needs to sort out properly.
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